Wednesday, January 15, 2003

it's weird to think that i am the future i always worried about.
i flipped through all the photographs. it was a quick skimming of them but i caught glimpses of people i knew. i saw pictures that made me smile, and pictures that made me laugh, and some i almost had to close my eyes they were that bad. i gasped at some and and teared up at some and were disgusted by others. this was my life. the one i was looking for was the very last one in the box.

i am almost convinced at this point that is the vitamins that are keeping alive in this decaying apartment.

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

it seems impossible to me that there NOT be any animals in that ceiling. every house i know of has some sort of creature in the walls or something, and those are well kept and very clean houses. this apartment is no spectacle of cleanliness and it's an old moldy apartment, not to mention the grossest one in the entire complex, i am sure of that. the hole is omitting a smell now. actually, it has been for awhile, but it is just now really getting to me.

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

i guess its the girls above me, but damnation, someone's radio is too loud and the commericals are like a constant buzzing from the walls.
or as ed said, i could just be losing it. i haven't taken my morning meds in a couple days... hmmm.
he makes kissy faces at me and then smiles reveling his gold and silver teeth glimmering in the light of the passenger's tv screen and i reply, "you wish gold teeth."

i hate when people drive in the bike lane. in houston, the white line distinguishing the bike lane is nearly gone, and here in auburn, where people actually use the bike lanes, people still cruise around in their SUV's (which are not as big as they think) taking up at least half of the bike lane.

walking through the wal mart parking lot, i see white trash of a variety i haven't seen since i'd been in here in Alabama and i'm thinking of how i am sick of being who i am, and i want to be somebody in this world. i hear a manly, "look at her, look at her," as my eyes search for the sound and find two men staring at me who proceed with a "DAAAAAng." i am somebody to these people. i am a distraction from their boring lives, which are being led in the wal mart parking lot.

Monday, January 06, 2003

the ceiling in my bathroom finally fell through. it is official: i have a hole in my ceiling above my shower. i spent my entire shower staring up the hole hoping nothing is living in it. at my house in houston we have rats in the ceiling, and so there is no reason why i woldnt have them here, and they have a hole right into my bathroom. their very own private entrance. turning the faucets off, i stared directly above me to watch a black and moldy piece of ceiling dangle by a thread.

i bought a pair of jeans that actually look good without a belt, and i am not yet sure how i feel about this. ever since my middle school days at Paul Revere, jeans are unacceptable without a belt. it just can't be done. well, i have found a pair of jeans that look better without a belt, if you can even fathom the idea.